11 January 2010

did my mother worry this much

I thought that today would be the day that we would get the news about the elementary school for next year.  We showed up on time with copies of all the necessary documents, only to have five minutes of face time with the principal so that she could then give us an application, which included a request for additional documents, some of which we just don't have.

Ahh. . . . the application. . . . I scanned it and was quite certain that I could fill in most blanks without any assistance.  Why then?  Why? Why? Why? Do I feel like such an idiot?  I requested the help of an Italian friend, just to seek reassurance that nome was indeed nome and that I was correct in writing "DANA." I mean, it's just basic, very, very basic information that is being requested of me, yet I am afraid to committ it to paper with ink. . . . hello! Forget writing a couple of simple sentences.

And, then, of course like every other mother I know . . . I question my choice.  Is this the right place for her?  What if she hates it?  What if they don't "get" her?  Oh, she'll be so freaked out by this change I'm sure she'll panic on the first few days oh i wish that her little friends were coming to this school as well will that one kid we know make the cut? maybe i should just keep her home with me yes that's it i'll keep her home with me i'll homeschool and protect her from the big bad mean old world and then she wont have to deal with this anxiety and then she'll be happy did my mother worrry this much? how could she have worried this much over me and my first day of school when she was a working mother of three living in a big house with no cleaning angel back in the day when fathers didnt do much and i turned out okay or even better than okay so okay she'll be okay and she'll go to the school afterall and i won't homeschool but i loved school from the first day and what if i spelled my name incorrectly or what word exactly is the correct one for my profession and i don't even know a word for what richard does and is that normal to be on a school application and does it matter that i wrote that she was born in napoli when she was really born in gricignano di aversa and how do i know that the english teacher will be good to her? do i need to translate her vaccination recor AND just who was that american who showed up early with a cold call today, with all the documents because he read it on the website doesn't he know what it takes to have a spot in this class?  did he see that my application had my cognome penciled in on the top corner and does that mean that the young one has a spot ohhhh do i really want to do this just how much art will she get? i wish wendy could be her art teacher and julie could be her teacher and richard could teach her music and dale could be her principal or her teacher and kara wow kara would be great but instead she's going to an italain school that has a blackboard on a stand right next to the teacher's desk at the front of the room omg chalk with little desks in straight rows man oh man am i happy that she can read already and where do these children go when it rains where will i park when i drop her off is it okay to just leave my car on the road with my lights flashing like all these people did today . . .

. . . and that is just the beginning of it.

We are making progress.


  1. HAH! Love the stream of concience.. Now I'm late to pick up my piccolino!! My Gricingano baby is still sleeping though... oh hate to wake her, but hate to be late to school for the boy.. In boca al lupo!!

  2. Breeeeaaathe. No one ever died from first-day jitters.

  3. Ooohhh, I think I'd be feeling the same way if I were you.

    But rest assured, she'll be fine. Just based on the stream of your worry, I can tell that this was no idle decision. You've been researching schools for months. If she gets into this one, great. If she doesn't get into this one, she'll still be fine. You'll be there and you'll make *sure* she's fine. Later, if it turns out this school isn't the right fit, you'll make changes. Just deal with right now, now. The rest will sort itself out in time.

    Good luck! And keep us posted!

  4. She'll be fine wherever you put her:) Quit making yourself sick over this.


  5. Of course she worried. Does a mother ever stop worrying over her child? But that doesn't stop her from helping her child face the world and get to know it. Relax, and make sure M is relaxed.
    PS so, what's your profession:)?

  6. I hope she had fun today! Do you remember when were kids were had less fear, and adjusted better than our mothers did. I also hope you survived today my friend. xo

  7. Breath deep, go to the kitchen/cantinia, grab the first bottle of wine you see (no need to over think this because your brain may explode if you think of anything else), open bottle, pour glass, drink, repeat as necessary.
    I find the whole finding the right elementary school a little odd. My parents didn't have a chioce. We lived in the country and there was only one school. I don't think they even worried about which teach I was assigned to. I turned out fine with no choices to make. Your little one will be fine to. Please tell me the same thing when I start freaking out about preschools next year.

  8. I am sure your sweety will be just find. If you relax then she will not be able to sense your apprehention. Also, you will be amazed at home much she is going to change between now and Sept.

  9. WAKE UP, where's your corner view:)?
    Actually, I came to say that I was reading this, and I thought of you:
    Have a good day!

  10. On a totally unrelated note, I decided to make my blog invitation only after I got some inappropriate comments the other day. I would, of course, love for you to keep reading, so if you want to be on the list just send me an email at: thekeepingtime@gmail.com

    Hope all's well!

  11. Bibliotecaria Scolastica

    I am trying to relax, not to think too much about it. . . but it's a bit difficult, I'll tell you.
    Some folks say we need another child to detract the attention a bit; those folks may be correct.